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Bi-Level Conversation

12/11/04

I was in the 8th grade when two of my classmates made an impression on me. They were identical male twins. I never forgot them. Their bodies were very tall and slender, both with blue eyes and blonde hair. But they were sad. I could just feel that something awful really troubled them. It was like there was some force they had no control over and it ate at them like a non-biological cancer.

One day I asked them where they were born because their facial features were peculiar. They simply stated "Germany."

Ronald and Donald only attended my school for 1/2 a year. They were then transferred to a vocational school for their 9-12 school years. I never saw them again.

I remember them clearly and would wonder over the years as to how they turned out? What was it that disturbed them enough for me to recall consistently for 20 years the feelings I maintained so vividly.

It is now 1996; my husband and I purchased a waterfront piece of property in Essex Maryland. I was not particularly happy with my move back where I grew up but in time I got used to it. We wanted a home far enough away that my nephew we were raising would find no obvious trouble as he came thru the foster care system and had lots of baggage for an 11-year-old.

The owners were elderly and the man was apparently dying of cancer. But it was the wife that I found to be the odd one. I could tell she was very unstable. The feelings I got were of very upsetting details of a childhood that caused her to be the way she was. She treated my nephew with kindness but she turned her emotions in the other direction too fast. It was very scary and a non-trusting feeling. When she found out that my nephew was not my own child, it surprised her. She simply turned around and stated with her back to me, "I raised my children." It was definitely a very disturbing feeling that I felt.

We move in and I clean. The house was going to be torn down for a more stable and higher foundation as waterfront property was susceptible to water damage. And what did I find but a picture of one young teenage boy, blonde hair and blue eyes. It did not register until the day I spoke with the neighbor months later.

This neighbor told me of stories about this odd woman who no one could get along with. She was a very vindictive individual. So much so that high fences were built on either side of the property to keep her from outside trouble.

The neighbor said she was a young teenager during WWII and witnessed her family brutally killed in front of her eyes. She was saved by a relative during this unrealistic event and lived with this relative until she became of age. The husband was stationed in Germany during WWII and fell in love with her and so they were married. They had twin boys and were born in Frankfort Germany.

One of the twins visited my new home in 1998 on the property they once lived. I had to tell him that his father had died because their mother did not inform them. And their mother was living in Pennsylvania.

I learned both boys were merchant mariners and apparently doing well. Their mother put them out within hours of their 18th birthday never to see either parent again.

I got all the answers that seemed to haunt me.

Tinna Mikulka RN BSN

BI-LEVEL CONVERSATION

12/8/04

My father consistently asks me when am I coming to visit him like it was a ride down the road. Now, I've visited him twice in 10 years but the travel time is a serious factor. I have to admit that it is paradise over-looking the deep blue ocean from a place that can spoil even the best of us. The temperatures remain constant with the warm breeze and just enough humidity for a perfect comfort level. He states that it is a free ticket and that I can come anytime. But I remain uncomfortable, therefore, ignore his pleas for my company.

It is a third world island in the Caribbean. With the dysfunctional marriage of poverty and neediness my soul does not allow me to take advantage of the American dollar as my father can do so easily and without remorse. But he is getting older and we have old karma that needs to be completed.

I asked my soul to give me signs and guide me toward a solution that would satisfy the natural moralities of life itself. And then it happens, one night I look up to see my smoke alarm light flash on and off several times. The batteries were just changed and there were no mechanical problems that could be detected. When I entered an empty patient room at work the lights would flash on and off a few times. I knew, then, that my soul was preparing me for a new idea. As I lay on the couch with the flu a few days later the solution hits me like-a-ton-of-bricks. I now knew exactly what it was that I was supposed to accomplish.

It was a mission that would take months to prepare for and a lifetime of commitment. I was ready. I located a volunteer organization that could use a willing volunteer such as myself. And as would be expected, they were delighted to hear from me. My father has been informed of the plan and my employer will be convinced soon as to the arrangements that will be put into action next October 2005 and every year thereafter.

The strategy is to get 2-3 weeks off every year. Two weeks will be spent with the Sisters-Island-Project working with the children of the Yabacao region just North of the Capital on the Dominican Republic.

There is no running water, sewage or electricity in this area of the island and are in great need of volunteers to provide general education and health services. With my professional experiences primarily in public Health working with the school-age child I am a perfect fit. After I complete my volunteer work the last week will be spent with my father.

My soul has, once again, provided me with the knowledge I needed to continue my journey toward my soul mission. The signs were there; I was heard because I asked and then listened.

With Love and Light,

Tinna Mikulka RN BSN